Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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