You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
