Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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