Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
