He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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