wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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