What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
