i think my mom watched the whole time
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
