but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
