I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
