She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
