dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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