Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
