careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
