i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
