My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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