I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
