Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
