Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
