I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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