I think I am morally bankrupt
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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