Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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