she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Do vagina's smell?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
