its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
