dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
