their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
