did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
