Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
