Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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