that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
