please come you make the beer taste better
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
