dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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