You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
