I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
