You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
