Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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