who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
