Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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