So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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