You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
