i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
