I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
