is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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