I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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