do herpes really smell.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
