He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
two words...techno handjob
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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