Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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