Where is the hickey?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
