I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
