The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
